Why I don't like Beef / Pork

July 4th... long weekend .. Monday and here I am content to the core in this lazy Florida after noon. Meat Loaf - I have seen this on the menu at various eat outs/restaurants in US and some homes but never tasted it. All this changed yesterday when my dear wife served the baked dish, hot out of the oven. This was the first time she experimented with the Meat Loaf recipe. Beef/ Pork is not my liking, but this dish was great. After relishing the left over of this great dish and as I relaxed in the my patio shade among the chirping birds under the Florida sun, I drifted in and out of my memory bank retrieving the bits and analyzing on why I preferred chicken over Beef/ Pork. Here are some bits of information which I could muster from my lazy sleepy processing unit.

Growing up in India, we rarely had Beef or Pork at our home. Beef was scarce and the only time you get it locally was accidental and i mean it literally. But first let me give some background, I grew up in this small town, Bhilai, one of the steel cities in India. As you may be aware, Cow is a sacred animal and so there is no question of slaughtering for meat anywhere in the Hindu majority belt. So in Bhilai, beef used to come from the tribal areas (why tribal areas.. I don't know). Bhilai is in the beautiful Chattisgarh state which has a large tribal area. Now how did we get the Beef from these areas. Look around you, I am pretty sure you will find Malayalees everywhere (Malayalees or Mallus are people from Kerala state inside the Republic of India).. How this particular sub-species of Human spread to even the remotest corner of earth is another interesting vast topic in itself. Coming back to beef, my relatives / friends living among the tribals would season the beef, pack it and bring it along when visiting Bhilai.

So the beef supply is not abundant.. but I did mention "accidental", right? Now there are some stray animals especially cow which get killed in the steel plant. How in the name of Beef chilli fry these poor animals get killed? Maybe when a mallu overhead crane operator sights one near his path, he just releases one hot iron beam over this poor animal killing it instantly and make it look as an electrical / magnetic failure. I am pretty sure Mallus are fully capable of this.  (So be wary of pissing off a colleague who is a Mallu and incidently also a Crane operator. And also be careful while being under a crane). So the meat from the dead animal then gets distributed among other Mallus in the community. This is interesting, but who will vouch for the quality? Nobody, the only guarantee is the Mallu Crane Operator. So the quality issue was another scare which prevented from having this delicious item at our home.

The only meat item left was chicken and fish. Chicken was a delicacy during festivals. It also was on the menu couple of times in a month during good times. Our family budget from a single earning member never allowed the luxury of having chicken more than this interval. Fish used to come to our doors ( I mean fresh supply by hawkers carrying a limited number in basket on the pillion of his bicycle). I never had Pork during my stay in India. I don't remember my mother making any pork dish at my home. This does not mean that it is not available in India.

So in short, I am not used to the tastes of Beef / Pork / any random animal.

Anyways I am now in a place where every meat is abundant and cheap, vegetables are expensive. I am indebted to my lovely wife for introducing me to the new tastes. So my friends, next time when you want to know why some qualities are missing in me, just ask me? As always I can give you some unscientific, idiotic explanation which you may not digest, but I will be grateful that at least you asked.

Jaani...

Raj Kumar - His Dialogues were what made him stand out...

Bose Di Kay - My take

So it is official.. one of the most popular street expletives has squeezed itself in to Bollywood vocabulary database.  I give all the credit to Aamir khan and gang. He is my current real super hero who nudges the Bollywood planet with every movie to change its course a bit.. be it Lagaan, Ghajini, Peepli live, Tare zameen par etc etc.

The D K Bose song has caught the imagination of the citizens irrespective of the age. This expletive along with others are very common in any part of the Hindi speaking areas in India. Be it the urban or rural tongue, it has never lost its relevance. With such an abundant use, it has lost its actual meaning though and is very well interwoven with spoken Hindi grammer. What I mean to say it that you don't actually get offended when you have somebody use it. If we compare it with the English spoken language, it may replace words as "Well....", "hmmmmm....", "Hello....", "C'mon...", "Hey Bast**d..", "Idiot..." etc etc. So the use can be wide ranging, Right?  Well... don't you understand...you .. (Please replace the "Well..." with Bose-di-kay). Didn't it feel goood? If you don't get the feel.. try to use it often... (Please don't use it while you speak with somebody who is above 45 years and below 21 and who is your mother, father, elders, relatives and so on at the time of writing this piece. If you have the liberty of using it to somebody in the forbidden range mentioned above, my humble salutations and respects... )

Now.. will this revolutionize the Bollywood industry? Of Course, there are no two opinions about it.. It will among other things infuse more creative form of expression, more freedom in creating a plot, less of Ram-Rajya fantasy world stereotypes (I am fed up with that crap). In due course, it may also give way to less of the lengthy fight sequence. How?.. Maybe you could express your anger more effectively if you can spray your rant with an array of expletives before you get stupidly physical. The censor board will have to introduce classification of films with regards to suitability for audience just like the ratings in United States. I am beginning to enjoy  ... so you great film makers out there... Surprise me. I am ready to learn more and you have a chance.. Bose-di-kay kuch karo.. 

On a ending note.. remember Hangal's dialog in Sholay  "Yeh itna Sannatta kyon hain bhai" The revolution will make it to be replaced in a future Sholay with "Abe Bose-Di-Kay, itna Sannatta kyon hain". That is the time, I would say that Bollywood has matured. Good Luck... conversing !!

How Cosmetics saved a career and a life..

The Kajal and Dupatta saved them big time....

Being Not a Gandhi..

PVN - his greatest find was Dr. Manmohan Singh.. rest is history
Though he gets no recognition....

Caution: Renovated & Freshly Painted

Unlimited Mileage - Buddha Rangeela

No no no .... i really didn't mean that...

i say - "Anna Hazare ji is like pied piper of Hamelin"
hmm... sorry..... did I goof up? ...should I have said that?

Framed...

Not quite... eh..

The Attack

The attack came from nowhere, I froze. 

I realized that my legs did carry on for a few more steps before heeding to the code red from the brain. Everything came to a halt. Though outside appearance of me was looking cool, the army within had already been activated. My life’s movie sequence was suddenly paused at a very unlikely projection of myself, a fierce fight scene rather than a flight scene.  (btw a flight scene in such situation would have labeled me as a Fattu in every possible colloquial way) . I was not going to give up. 

Have you ever seen one of those Bruce Lee movies where his face in a close up shows him in a great trance processing and sensing the next move of the fighters around him. In Hindi we call it Saap soong gaya  - translated – smelling a snake.  Doesn’t make sense, right?  Anyways back to my scene, my stance was almost similar to Mr. Lee.  The only differences were the way my senses worked.  My eyes narrowed scanning around for the possible escapes.  My hands ready to shield any attacks on my junks, my legs trembling to take off as soon as the brain hits the Escape key. 

For a moment I had transformed in to one of those Indian super heroes who fight baddies just with only bare minimum accessories and above all just Mahabali’s avatarial powers.  Well my education and experience said that those are possible only in very exotic Desi (local India) film or cheap TV mega soap settings. Anyways scanning around, my eyes caught the sight of my attacker… what? … six inches tall from the ground in a attack mode was this miniscule spoilt brat dog in its attack stance. 

I was surprised just by its courage because at its tallest stretch it reached only one third of my shinbone.  Around 10 feet from its position was its owner. She had that embarrassed look but I could see a sense of satisfaction by her choice of this mongrel. Though so small it did pick out this odd person from the regular crowd in this neighborhood who in every way looked suspect. Well.. some day it will say her life. I started walking away from trouble (my inbuilt nature), but the moment I took two steps.. it galloped 5 yards ahead and crouched as if to attack. I looked at the owner just to let her know that she should control this bug or else…. The owner gave me the How dare you even think of kicking off my baby?  I turned away from that gaze because I was not sure who would be liable if something happens…. I cannot justify any insurance claims if this dog bit me… because the adjuster or any judge is never going to believe my side of the story.  

Well… enough is enough.. I don’t know what happened, I growled and barked in the loudest possible shrieking sound as I could muster.. I was surprised by the decibel I generated. Factually, it would fall somewhere in the category of a young girl’s scream combined with howl of a pack of wolves and the bark of a big angry dog. I came out of my trance only to see that the expression of the owner changing from having to deal with a human being to that of a helpless having to fight off an alien. The dog was nowhere to be seen… the owner retreated inside her home. A couple of curious door opened, I am not sure if one of them showed the muzzle of a gun. I decided to call it quits.. it was weird but I added this technique to my fight manual and continued with my morning run/ jogging, prepared to meet any next similar dangerous attacks. What will you do?

It is precious

He was shocked.. how could he let that precious little thing slip out of his hands.. Now what should he do? How can he be so irresponsible? Idiot! Don't you still know how to hold on to a thing. Confusion combined with despair ran cold through his spine. At the same time his mind raced on ways to salvage the situation. It was repulsive, it was point of no return. He blamed the entire episode to the drinks last night. The mind was still numb from all the effects of cheap liquor, but thats all you can find in this dry part of India. His reflex sure was affected in a big way or should he blame it on its contours..All this happened when he was just usurping the soft and the virgin fragrance.
He stood staring at it. Should he run out to get something to help him to get it out..but what if somebody comes in at the meantime..Well now the question racing inside him was how to retrieve it. Nobody might have done it… He will be the first one to do this..Then without any further thinking he scooped at the item.. his fingers reached the unfathomable virgin hole and with one swift action gathered it… So disgusting was his actions that he could taste the bile on his tongue, but there was a sense of achievement. He could use the money saved to buy a lunch. He will double it up with his usual lunch expense to get a sumptuous meal.. That was not bad.. after five minutes of thorough cleansing he smelled it again and closed his eyes relaxed to get in as much of that virgin fragrance. He swayed.. He got out with a resolution.. to buy a soap case for this expensive soap.. At this time of the year during summer season in Ahmedabad when water is scarce, he may not be able to retrieve such a beauty from the bowels of a eastern commode…